So, I just want to start by saying in no way am I trying to break up a relationship or more importantly a family. I have no plan to ever ever ever speak on how I feel and mess up anyone’s lives but, I personally just wanted to get some sort of advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation or insight on why I might feel the way I do.
I met this guy about 6 years back because someone in my friend group was dating someone in his. Immediately there was an attraction ... I instantly felt like I’ve known him forever. We both are the reserved distant type so the most that ever happened was we would get drunk when the friend groups got together and flirt and kiss. We’d also always stay up all night talking but nothing ever came from it. Eventually he ended up getting a girlfriend and we all lost touch. It’s been 6 years ... and I’m scrolling through my explore on Instagram and I see a photo of him!!! I instantly felt a bunch of emotions and couldn’t stop thinking of him! (After 6 years of no contact!)
I decided to add and send a message to see how it’s going. He was single so there was immediate flirting and that comfort feeling came right back to me, as if I’ve known him forever ... it just felt right! We started hanging out, and texting all the time ... things were going good. I asked him not to tell his friend group that we started talking again until we got to know each other properly (they’re kinda gossipy and I didn’t want to deal with it). He agreed and everything was good. I also told him I didn’t want anything too serious right now and I could tell that upset him but he didn’t say anything. We lasted about two months and then he randomly stopped answering me. And THEN about a week later I ran into someone from his friend group who immediately asked me to come hangout. When I did I realized he kept his word and did not tell his friends about us (so I didn’t either!) and that he now has a gf which is why he stopped answering me. They told me that he met someone on a Friday (the day he stopped answering me) and they started dating the next day, and that 1 month later they were living together and 2 months later... she was pregnant. As shocked as I was witnessing all of this happening I still felt soooo drawn to him. I see him sometimes now because of the friend group but we don’t talk. He tells his friends he doesn’t like me (I’ve still never told his friends about us) but when I see him I feel this pull to him like I want to help him and how I know we would be perfect together ... it’s the strangest thing.
They’ve had their baby now and almost have been dating a year. I really thought by now I’d be over him or at least disgusted by him for dropping me like that when I did nothing. It just feels like since the day I met him I’ve felt this attachment to him and I can’t really see why. Does anyone have any tips on how I should get over him? I definitely have no intent on being with him now or even if him and his gf break up but I also don’t want to continue feeling this way for him.