Figure out WHAT is going on

The first step is to look at WHAT is happening. 

Let’s stand back, look at the specific issue, and get all analytical for a second. Describe the issue to yourself out loud and see if you can put it into a sentence.

For example:

• “I feel uncomfortable when I see them talking to attractive people”.
• “I struggle with them still being in contact with their ex”.
• “I’m not sure I trust myself to be loyal”.
• “I worry that my partner flirts with their colleagues”.
• “I think my partner is keeping secrets”.

Here are a few tips to help you understand the issue a bit better:

Jealousy can really mess with your head, and tends to complicate things for both sides. It’s important to step back and take a breather.

A friend who’s not interested in drama is ideal. They can help you find a balanced perspective.

Facing your true feelings is a very healthy and empowering thing to do. Don’t try to convince yourself one way or the other, and don’t overcomplicate it with what you think you should feel.

Considering the other person’s perspective is something that many people don’t do, but it’s worth doing. Practising empathy will not only help you get a grip on the issue, but it will also help you resolve issues in a more sensitive and efficient way.

Now you’ve taken a step back and observed the jealousy or trust issue that you’re dealing with, we’ll look at the root causes.