I need anyone's advice or some kind words to help me thru this.. 1 week ago the man I loved with all my heart and soul (father of my 4 Y.O. son) said he wasn't happy and basically kicked me out telling my son "go with your mom".
I love him so much even though very early on I seen all the signs he was verbally abusive and heartless from the beginning but for some reason I put up with all of it. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years taking care of my daughter from a previous relationship and his son also from a prior relationship (I potty trained him and love him like my own son)...
To sum it up, every time I got a job he was jealous so I'd quit.. he always took his exes side but she would drop off their son with me when it was convenient to her. He told me I was ugly stupid, a bitch, dumb, and that he wished he knew how I really was before he met me, that I tricked him into getting me pregnant.
After my son was born I had post party depression and It never went away. Evolved into depression. I'm only 32 years old but I've already gone thru menopause ( my dr says it's from all the stress and complications from the abortion he made me have) so I gained weight and lost my self esteem and the little confidence i had. My daughter chose to live with her dad instead of seeing me so unhappy.
Still I loved him and had the house clean and washed ironed his clothes. In my eyes he was absolutely gorgeous and too good for me. Even though he is bald and desperate to turn back time by working out daily and applies hair regrowth (secretly) every day. I felt myself slipping deeper into depression and feeling useless. I stopped going anywhere with him, feeling too far or ugly and embarrassed. I felt him getting fed up and disappointed in my appearance and I didn't have ambition to even get out of bed.
He told me he was unhappy n that i needed to leave. Since he paid for all the furniture i wasn't allowed to take anything. He wouldn't look at me and told me I was a pussy for caring about him so much. I know I sound so stupid after everything he's done to me and its clear I love him way more then he loves me but I'm having a really hard time not texting him.
We have a previous court order in affect stating he only see our son 3 hrs a week supervised visitations but my son asks for him and I've let him take him for a couple hrs each day hoping he will show some remorse but he goes back to making me feel beneath him. I feel like I am better then this but it's really hard knowing I've put my all into a relationship and someone who can care less about me.. please help I need advice