I am fresh out of an 8-year relationship, 3 months out and counting. My ex & myself are getting on well, both trying to support each other through the break-up. (although she has told me multiple times she wants me back I don't feel the same) In the meantime I have met someone else. She is a warm, genuine stunning woman whom I didn't mean to fall in love with, however I have. We went on nights out in a crowd of people and always ended up dancing and laughing. We got on like a house on fire. One day I told a 'friend' how I felt about her & well it got back to her & she very nearly shut down, told me she didn't want a relationship just yet & I should give myself time to get over my ex. But we still went out, still got on & still had such a laugh.

Slowly as the months passed it was fairly evident we was opening up to the possibility of a relationship, despite her resistance. I then made the single stupidest mistake of my life. I went to my ex to clear the last of my stuff out & well one thing lead to another & we had sex. I regretted it imminently & apologised. My ex was very level headed about the whole thing & told me it didn't matter - 'one for the road'! Somehow the girl I was interested in found out but not before I had 'the moment'. By 'the moment' what I mean is the moment I fell properly hard in love, with her & it was like nothing I felt before - they say your heart punches out your chest & I can say its true. I knew at the moment she was the one.

Now I know she has a 'history' - not all of it pretty, she is certainly not whiter than white some of which included adultery, but her past is her past. As far as I'm concerned I fell in love with her not her past. When confronted my on the sex I told the truth & she went apoplectic - & rightfully so. I was such a idiot I couldn't - can't - believe I did it. She banned me form going out with our friends - which are mostly her friends & doesn't want to know me at all. The barriers up & its not coming down. I suddenly realised although we never went on a date, or kissed or spent any real time alone she clearly felt more than 'close friends'.

A month & a half later after busting my ass trying to at least relight our friendship she shot me down again - telling me she only wants a 'working' relationship and nothing more - ever. This I'm finding REALLY hard to accept. We were so close. We had so many laughs & overnight its gone. I'm talking to friends about her & using their suggestions but nothing seems to get through. Then some days shes chatting to me & smiling with her stunning eyes, then others nothing. When I look her in the eye I can see the hate where there used to be love. When she answers the phone & realises its me you can actually her her tone change. about the only thing I can still do is make her a coffee.

People tell me she doesn't like men. I've been told there might be 'something' in her past which I have either reminded her of (which I'm not her past) but not told what. I've also told shes scared of a relationship. The latest is shes just not interested in me like that which I find so hard to accept, I don't understand how she can just turn it off like that. One of her friends has said I should stick it out & wait but it probably wont be this side of Christmas which I find impossible but whatever it takes, she is 100% certain she will come back. Others say I should just sit her down & have it out with her & if shes still not interested then walk away. She has a very close friend who I know & I wonder if I should talk to her but if she finds out I think it kill of anything that remains.

My question is why can't I just except it? Should I wait? Give it more time? Or go face to face with her & have it all out. If I give it time how long? Every morning shes on my mind, every night.