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“Feeling used”

We have been together 11 years. I am unhappy. He is unhappy. He says he wants to work on our relationship. I do too. But when I suggest something he puts me off till I forget. He doesn't have any income, I have disability as I am legally blind. His idea of getting us through a tough time is illegal activity. His email address constantly has dating sites sent to them. He has told my friend he had sex with me because he felt sorry for me. Now he laughs or ignored me when I beg for sex.

He ignores me but answers others. He has tore my car completely up. He breaks or loses anything important to me. He calls me things that he knows I am sensitive about when we fight he tells me to leave. So when I try he says he will kill me or my mom. But yet he says he loves me. Help

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