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“Partner watches porn”

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My partner watches porn and we're in an eight-year relationship. I'm 14 weeks pregnant today and we haven't really had sex since conception. He says he has a low sex drive but he watches porn. And it's not just like once a week. He says he might be depressed but doesn't feel depressed. It's making my self-esteem low because he doesn't want to touch me and I feel unattractive, especially compared to the skinny, attractive, made up girls on porn.

I am so upset, I've spoken to him loads about it and not nagged just tired to understand why, I've come on to him and he tells me to get off him etc. I feel so lonely and isolated, and him being distant is making me feel worse. I don't know what to do. He also stays up all night playing the PlayStation till 6am, even been on it till 10am and I get up and he goes to bed... Then all day I am alone till he wakes up about tea time.

I have tried to watch porn with him in the past and he says its weird he doesn't like it. We have tried to be intimate lately and he says he's not into it and we stop. I feel so unattractive because I'm getting fatter due to pregnancy, my skin more oily and I don't have the energy to do my hair and make up and why should I? I can't get my roots done because the salons are closed because its lockdown (coronavirus).

I feel so depressed and I've asked for help again and again not just about my self-esteem but other life issues and I don't even have anyone to talk to about things. No friends, can't talk to my family because 1 I'd just be moaning basically, 2 they can't help me, 3 it's very personal. I really need a counsellor which I've been trying to get one for well, 6 months really but more so since lockdown and they refer me and chase it up but it never happens. I just want a hug ffs and someone to tell me it will be ok, instead I feel ignored by my partner and he's meant to be my best friend too.

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Sex during pregnancy

During your pregnancy, sex can become a complicated issue. Your desire can decrease, your discomfort can increase, and you might just lose interest altogether. Or, you might still be in the mood but find that your partner is backing off! All of this is perfectly normal and very common. Sexual enjoyment tends to decline as pregnancy goes on. Around 22-50% of pregnant women find intercourse painful and many women find it difficult to orgasm. It’s normal for your libido to decline too, largely to the change in hormones, and feeling sick, tired and physically uncomfortable [1]. And, as your body changes, you might just feel less sexy. This is particularly likely during the later stages of pregnancy, when you’re all achy and bloated. About a quarter to a half of pregnant women feel less attractive than before, and only 12% feel more attractive [1]. Giving it a go If you do feel up to having sex, there’s no reason you shouldn’t give it a go. For the majority of healthy pregnant women and their partners, sex is perfectly safe, even in the last few weeks before you give birth [1]. If you’re not sure whether it’s OK, seek advice from your doctor or midwife but, if you do want to have a go, give yourself time to be in the mood, and accept that it might take longer than usual. It’s possible that your partner will be reluctant, which can be frustrating. However, don’t assume that it’s from a lack of desire, or a loss of sexual attraction. One possible reason for hesitancy is a fear of harming the baby, which inhibits at least a quarter of male partners, and a quarter to half of expectant mothers [1]. Talk to your partner. Have an open and honest conversation about how you both feel right now. If your partner admits that they’re feeling funny about sex, try not to get annoyed or take it personally – you won’t be pregnant forever! If you’re feeling a bit insecure, make it clear that you are learning to adjust to your changing body and that, even if sex is off the table, a little TLC would be appreciated. Finding other ways to feel close If you really don’t want to have sex, don’t force yourself. Be honest with your partner, offer reassurance that it’s not a personal rejection, and ask for the support you need. It might be helpful to discuss this article, and reassure yourselves that these are common adjustments that couples face during pregnancy. If you’re feeling icky and your partner tries to reassure you that you look beautiful, accept the compliment and choose to believe them. Lots of people find their partners especially attractive when they’re carrying their child. Finding other ways of being intimate that aren’t sexual – like hugging, kissing, and massage – can help you bond when sex isn’t available. Just spending quality time together can help you maintain a sense of closeness. And remember that you won’t feel like this forever. Though there will be new challenges for your sex life when your baby comes along, the physical changes you’re experiencing during pregnancy should return to normal about three months after the birth. Some women even experience more intense orgasms than they did before [1]. References [1] Von Sydow, K. (2000). Sexuality during pregnancy and after childbirth: A meta-analysis of 59 studies. Reproductive Health Matters, 8 (15), 183. doi:10.1016/s0968-8080(00)90068-5

Article | pregnancy, parenting together

Boyfriend is into transgender escorts

My partner of 2.5 yrs and I have just split, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. We lived together for just over a year (in my house), he's late 30's....I'm mid 30's In March this year we both changed jobs and were probably having a little bit if a stressful time. For a period after this I felt like there was something just not right between us, and although I approached him a couple of times to talk my worries over he convinced me there was nothing wrong, and in time once our new jobs had settled we'd 'get back to normal'. My mind was settled for a short time but one night in mid may I went through his computer and mobile phone. I'd like to add that I felt shocking about this, but just had to ease my thoughts. I discovered he'd been watching transvestite porn, logging into sexual social network sites for transgender escorts, seeking out cross dressers services, emailing them with enquiries, and calling them. I was shocked and confused...I didn't go to work the next day, telling him I felt under the weather. I spent all day deciding how I was going to approach this and confront him. I felt so hurt and inadequate, but equally I thought if I could speak to him calmly he'd have an explaination. At worst I thought if he was confused about his own sexuality I didn't want him to feel judged or ashamed. When he got in from work, I asked him what he'd been doing during his 2 days he'd had off that week whilst I was at work...he just said not much really, playing the Xbox, tidying etc...I asked if anything else and he started to be uncomfortable with the interrogation! Eventually I asked if he'd been watching porn.... He laughed it off...and kept saying no. He was lying... I eventually told him I knew he'd been watching it, I knew he'd emailed and telephoned male escorts... He told me I was ridiculous and trying to cause an argument... When I'd searched his computer, I printed everything off....so I gave him the print outs. He was so embarrassed, he didn't know what to say, he clearly felt completely caught out. The only explaination he could offer me was 'it was just a joke, a one off stupid joke' and he'd never do it again. I didn't know what to believe and over the course of the next couple of days I just accepted what he had said and tried to get in with life. After 6wks I felt like there was something still not right, I tried to talk to him but he repeatedly would say I was been silly and nothing was wrong. Again I checked his computer and mobile and discovered each time he'd been off work and I was at work he'd been looking at and contacting transvestite escorts, watching porn of the same nature. I asked him if he'd been doing it again and he said no, he'd never do that again and jeopardise us like that again. I confronted him with what I found again.... He'd never stopped looking, in the six wks we had since the first time I found out. He says he's never met them, but I don't know if that's true or not, he lied about the whole thing in the first place so what's to say he hasn't lied about that. During the following week we tried to make things right again, he said he didn't want to lose us, and neither did I really but I didn't understand his interests in the escorts. 5 days later we'd gone out for a family celebration, had quite a lot to drink but had a great day. That night in my drunken state I mistakingly text a male friend with a text ment for my other half. When I fell asleep he checked my phone and saw it, thought the worst and wasn't happy (naturally). Even though my friend replied the next morning with a message that made it clear what I had sent wasn't meant for him. When I woke, he said it was all over. He couldn't do it anymore, that he felt like I cheated on him!! He said he was going to his parents for a couple of days to clear his head... 2 days later I came home from work to find everything that belonged to him gone. Since that day 4wks ago he won't talk, text, meet...nothing. It's like I don't exist to him anymore and I feel like I'm greiving a death. I have been to the doctors to ask for some help as I'm finding I just can't cope, I'm constantly in a state, hardly eating or sleeping. I feel completely inadequate, hopeless, not good enough.... Was I not good enough? Did I not fill his sexually desires? Has this been going on always and I didn't know? I feel like the breakdown is all my fault - I mean a text to a friend incorrectly - is that really relationship ending stuff?? I tried so hard to get him to open up to me about what he was looking at and explain things. I tried to make him feel like he wasn't been judged so he could feel comfortable to talk. What did I do wrong?

Ask the community | pornography, rejection

“My man has low sex drive, but looks at porn”

Hey everyone I'm having a tough time with this lately, and I would appreciate any constructive input you may have. I've been with my man for four years now and we recently got engaged a few months ago. Our first year together our sex life was great and frequent, but beyond that it has pretty much fallen off the map. I've brought it up to him a few times, keeping my cool but still showing my concern. He claims his libido is low, and that often he's tired, his body can't get to that point of intimacy, etc. I've been the one to try and initiate, but 99% of the time it goes nowhere. Needless to say I'm very frustrated. I'm 24 and he is 36. I don't want to seem like I'm being pushy with the whole situation, but it seems that nothing ever happens. He really doesn't cuddle/spoon/etc. all that much either. I know sex isn't the end-all, be-all of a relationship, but it shouldn't disappear and should be a part of a healthy loving relationship. So I've been (hopefully understandably) concerned for a while now. Just to give you an idea, we've only done it four times in the past two years. Yikes, I know. Sometimes I don't know how I've dealt with it. I believe I have been beyond patient what any normal person should. He has a nice demeanor and laid back personality, but I've learned that a lot of things are "all about him" and talking to him about my issues can be like talking to a brick wall (I feel like I don't get anywhere), so the whole scenario is very confusing. That being said, I began to suspect he wasn't telling me everything. I've learned of his lies before, so lying wasn't out of the question. So a couple months ago (after dry spells with no end in sight), I looked in his phone history and bam. There it was. Porn. Son of a bitch. I began to shake and lost my appetite. And I cried too (still do sometimes). When your partner makes excuses why there is no intimacy and it seems that they don't even try, then you find out they've been looking at porn all along, it just hits you like a ton of bricks. It's pretty much a slap in the face. Last night, I was so worked up about it that I finally decided to ask him. I stayed calm and took the route of giving him a chance to come clean (if he was into porn, not sounding confronting or accusatory), hoping he would see I was keeping it low key and that he could talk to me about it and how it makes me feel. He knows I don't like that stuff and he's said he isn't into it either. But I sat there and pretty much teared up inside as he lied straight to my face. Funny thing is, among the things he said in our discussion about porn, he said "If someone feels they need to hide something like that, they probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place" and that it would be disrespecting to their partner to lie about it (among other things like that). Hmmmm... So I went to sleep last night absolutely broken up that he felt perfectly comfortable lying to me about this issue. He said I should be able to trust him, but I really can't now. I feel like my next step would just to flat out tell him that I know, that last night was the calm before the storm. I'm setting myself up for him to be extremely pissy and defensive, but being as he lied about it I don't think he has anyone to blame but himself. Well I could go on longer about this, but I guess I'll stop there for now. I actually could hardly sleep last night having watched the man I love fabricate that elaborate lie right in front of me (he's very articulate and very believable if you don't know any better). Running off my frappuccino right now, hopefully I'll sleep a little better tonight. I don't agree with porn in my relationship and he knows and has said he feels the same way. When it pretty much replaces the sex, that is crossing the line. I can't help but feel I've lost part of him.

Ask the community | sexless, pornography, rejection

“He watches porn but never touches me”

I didn't ever want to have to talk about this. It's so hurtful, but here I am. My boyfriend and I have been together eight years and it has been so amazing after ironing out the beginning, which should have just smacked me and clear then but nope. In the last three years, we haven't had sex. Nor kissing with passion. I get the same smooch his mother gets! No tight snuggles, no lying watching a movie together. It's him on his phone and I watch TV alone. I have tried and tried to start something but it's play-stupid and rollover game. After three years a person has been over-patient. It started as me trying to walk by him naked or spray my perfume on before bed, or sexy panties. I'm a small woman. Nothing has changed with me, and I get nothing from him, not even a rollover for a kiss. He faces away from me and turns his head to the side for my magical goodnight kiss. In the last seven months, I have started to say "I'm here why don't you want me"? But I get excuses or it gets turned around on me so I am made to feel bad. Now it's to the point of me crying and crying, "Why don't you want me?" "What can I do to change?". I was made to feel his sex drive was low and he is so sorry, blah blah blah.. Screw that! His sex drive isn't too low for porn! He hasn't been touching me but he sure has been doing it to porn... We have watched porn together. I'm up for it, for sure, to help get a little dirtier but when he doesn't touch me unless he's been watching porn... no thank you! And you know what kills me? After I sat many times over like an ass thinking he would stop, he won't. I told him it makes me feel ugly and unwanted and just discarded that he doesn't get aroused by me but has to use other women. I thought "My man isn't like that, he will stop, he knows it hurts me, and he wont hurt me". Boy, was I wrong. He not only keeps watching it alone but hides the page or clicks the home button when I walk in the room. I'm not a complete idiot. So again last night, I cried and begged him to please stop watching it alone. Touch me if you're horny, I'm right here, why aren't I good enough? And I get deny, deny, deny and now I'm crazy, I didn't see porn, he isn't watching that. I have problems, I'd better go see a counsellor. I'm an embarrassment, I'm being an Idiot... I'm told to f off, get out of his face, he's tired of my bullshit. Last night, I lay in bed with so much going on in my mind. I kept to myself, watched a movie and fell asleep. Woke up at 5:15 cause I rolled over and, hmmm, he was gone. I got up to pee and, lo and behold, there he was on the couch on his phone. As soon as he saw me, that phone was flipped over faster than you can imagine. So I asked, "Hey, wanna prove me wrong? Let me see your phone. Show me the last page you were on. Prove me a paranoid crazy woman, just show me something", and as I stood there crying, pleading to him to prove me I'm wrong he tells me he's tired and will show me later... And his phone is hidden. Weird how it isn't on the end table like it is every night for the last eight years! My last comment to him was, "If you can't show me your phone and prove me wrong, then I now know I'm 110% right." He isn't going to stop. He doesn't care how it makes me feel and what am I doing still writing this? No sex for three years, over-excessive pain and anger, that's how my life has been. But I do see I'm not alone. To any woman or man that has a partner that makes them feel this way – please don't keep hurting yourself by letting someone stomp on your trust and heart. You're amazing and don't let anyone tell or show you different. Sorry it's probably all over the map, I'm still shaking from this morning's hidden phone event! Someone, anyone, talk to me please.

User article | pornography, masturbation, sexless

“Caught my partner watching porn”

I don't know what hurt me the most. The fact i thought i knew him and thought he wasn't like that, the fact he KNOWS i don't like it and I've told him it would really hurt me or the fact he told me not to come round and pick him up and instead he'd wait for the car and meet me at mine in an hour (well now i no why he didn't want me to turn up!) Walking in on him last week really shocked me. His face when he slammed his laptop down and ran to the door and almost stopped me from coming in was weird!! And I am SUCH a fool! Immediately I thought porn but even though he had no pants on I still reminded myself not to assume as ironically its our 1 year anniversary next week and I thought he may be booking something. Ha!! Anyway, I asked him if it was good (i was actually only joking as i didn't see the toilet roll until after I'd asked it) and he said no not really and I nearly broke down in tears. Anyhow long story short I stormed out and drove home with my phone in my bag assuming he'd be ringing or texting asking why I left but NOTHING. It took me 20-25 minutes to get home and then when he did text he had a go at me!!! So when I phoned him (really upset and shouting) he initially said he did it for me. Later when he admitted he didn't know why he did it I then got him to admit that actually he was lying about "doing it for me". He claims he cant remember me telling him how much it would hurt me and says its the first time he's ever done it. However i'm finding it hard to believe that its such a coincidence that the first time he does it since being with me is the time i walk in on him doing it. I don't know what to do. Its our anniversary on Friday and I've only just started being able to put my arms round him n let him get close in bed and kissing and this happened last Wednesday! We have good sex n he does very nice things for me but the fact he obviously doesn't listen to me or care about my feelings means I'm struggling to get over it. How can I trust he wont do it again?? Please help!

Ask the community | pornography, trust

“My boyfriend is into transgender”

I was in a two-year relationship with a man that I loved and still love. We were happy together, however he wasn't into me sexually. He had sex in the past with trans women but he wanted to have heterosexual relationship. I was all the time worried he might want that back. Shortly after our breakup for something very silly, he had sex with trans w. When I collected my stuff from his house, he wanted me back, wanted having sex with me. I refused it because of what he has done. Now there are five months since our break and I miss him. He is occasionally seeing a girl from university and also he is seeing men to have sex. He said he is missing me sometimes as well. I know it is a stupid question but I want him back and I know it's wrong but I really do miss his company. I can't stop thinking of him, does any one think there is a chance for our relationship? How can I stop feeling for him? I hate myself for being emotionally so weak and wanting him back while he is dating different people... I think I need therapy. Can someone help me?

User article | pornography, rejection

“Caught boyfriend masturbating as I slept”

I've been with my boyfriend for six months now and we live in our own flat. Everything's great etc and Yesterday we had sex during The day, and I fell asleep in bed cuddled up to my boyfriend about 1am this morning. About an hour later I was only half asleep but he thought I was completely asleep, he moved away from me and do I could tell he was flicking thru the xxx channels like babestation. I pretended to sleep but Then he started wanking to it, I left it for 5 mins but just got angry about it and woke up saying go to the living room. Then refused to say anything else, he said sorry and went to sleep. Was wondering should I have been angry at this? Cuz I am but I don't know why! Think I feel not as hot as those girls on TV or something. I know he'd be annoyed if I did it. I know everyone masturbates etc. I do to porn and he does etc. Just the fact I don't want to see the actual girls that does it for him... If that makes sense.

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“Why doesn't my husband want me?”

I have been married for 12 years. My husband and I are happy. We do not have a perfect marriage but who does? From the start of our marriage we never had much of a sex life, even as newlyweds. We would average maybe four times a month on a good month. He is not very affectionate toward me either. I had never felt attractive in my marriage. I am always the one who initiated sex and most of the time I got turned down. He does not kiss me and never performed oral sex for me at all, but expects it from me every time and sometimes just that for him and nothing at all for me. Later I found out he was watching porn A LOT. This broke my heart, because he never wanted me. About nine years and two sweet daughters later I found out that he was cheating – it was a one night thing. He swore that it meant nothing. For me to stay I demanded he tell me everything. I also found the other woman and talked to her about it. The stories matched up – apparently the plan was to cheat with her but he could not get an erection despite her best efforts. I asked him if he had kissed her (he never kisses me) and he had – not only that but, because he couldn't perform, he gave her oral sex! He never does this for me! I was very upset and left him. He was devastated and apologised and said he would be a better husband and do all those things for me, blah blah blah. So for my children and the fact that I love him we worked it out. He has done much better – he still will not kiss me but he will occasionally do oral. And he is more affectionate and I can honestly see that he is trying more than he ever has. Our sex life was great – five or six times a week and much more passion than ever before. But for the past two weeks he has not touched me, despite my attempts. When I asked him about it he said he was just in a down spiral (I forgot to mention he has cycling bi-polar disorder) and that his sex drive decreases when he has a down phase. I tried to understand and be supportive, but I checked his phone last night and his history was absolutely full of porn! So his sex drive is decreased but he can watch porn and not want to have sex with me? I do not understand this and it makes me feel disgusting! I even offered for us to watch together but he did not want to do that. My body has changed a lot since having our children, and he knows how insecure I am about it. He says my body has nothing to do with it it's just his bi-polor decreasing his libido. But i don't know about that seems like if libido was decreased it would be decreased for everything not just your wife, and be perfectly fine for porn. Can anyone help me understand this?

User article | pornography, masturbation, sexless

Boyfriend not interested in sex

Hi there. Apologies for the length of this post. My boyfriend and I (early 30s) have been together 2 years and live together. We have discussed a serious future together including marriage and kids. Initially we had a very good sex life (at least twice a week) but I’d say over the past year or so, things have been dwindling. I think I have a higher sex drive than him, and often if I try to initiate sex - I often get turned down and he will say he is too tired. He often has long shifts and early starts but sometimes this is even the case on his days off. I’d say sometimes we have sex once every 2-weeks. I’m finding this difficult as I would like to have more sexual intimacy. I’ve tried talking about this with him many times but he often gets very defensive and doesn’t want to talk about it. I feel he is embarrassed by it almost that I seem to want sex more than him. The relationship is otherwise great, he is affectionate and intimate in other ways but I feel when it comes to sex - he just doesn’t seem interested in me sexually. I don’t know what to do. It makes me feel really insecure and anxious when we go so long without having sex as it is important for me. And sometimes I feel depressed when he isn’t interested and I don’t feel desired. So I realise this is a pretty bad thing to do..but I did it out of desperation more than anything else. I realise this is an invasion of his privacy and I feel terrible but I checked his phone history and found he has been using porn very regularly - and unexpected categories like GILFS/ grannies/ MILF/ older women/ really large women. He is 30. Im the same age and large breasted but not fat. He has also watched gay porn including searches for things like “twinks” (had to look up what this meant) and also males orgasming. It makes me so distressed knowing he watches this yet is not sexual with me. I realise straight men sometimes watch gay porn but I was besides myself. I think he obviously watches this when I am out but it hurts me that he seems to be able to browse lots of porn but not be sexual with me. I understand that most men watch porn even in relationships, but surely if we are having less sex than I would like this is a problem? He clearly seems happy with sex with me once every couple of weeks because he is satisfying himself several times in between. I feel very hurt. I can’t bring this up as I obviously invaded his privacy and have probably made things worse! I thought about casually asking him directly if he watches porn but think he will likely hide it. Would be grateful for any advice. Thank you!

User article | sexless, pornography

“Husband doesn't care about sex”

My husband says he doesn't care about sex, and how he could care less about it. He's got a low sex drive etc. However his Google history says otherwise - it's all pornhub. I'm the one who always starts it, at least 90 percent of the time. I've suggested all kinds of things to spice things up because it's the same every time. Basically there's very little foreplay unless it's me to him. In the winter time he was home so I took control and just started doing it and trying to not care. Well than I saw that if we didn't do anything, if I didn't start it, he'd wait literally till I walked out the door, then it was right to pornhub. Like if he's horny why not just say something? Like not once has he ever just tried to please me with nothing in return unless again I'm in the middle of my own time on my own, then sometimes he will. Usually he comes in, gets his phone and leaves and goes on his way. I'm not sure if it's worth mentioning but I've had a big weight loss and I'm not sure if it's me getting in my head or not. But I'm starting to wonder if he's just not sexually attracted to me anymore? I'm not sure what to think or do or is it normal I'd say up until xmas it was 2-3 months in between. Since xmas it was almost every other day when I took control since I had enough of months in between, but again I got tired of being the only one to say anything. And yes he does knows it bugs me and here we are still. I should add the only one day I can count he will start it is valentine day which makes me even more mad. But, as I said above, in the winter I took over and it wasn't to bad. I bought us a sexy game and stuff. We never have played it and when I took it out to play he's like meh and put it away and we just did usual sex.

User article | pornography

“He watches pornography”

My bf and I have know each other since we were little kids and we been tg for 3 years and 8 months and I have seen in his phone history a lottt of porn. I talked to him about watching it that I really don't want u watching porn there's no need to watch it if we have sex and all he can say is okay and seems like it's no big deal but it is for me bc he has asked me why can't I do stuff like her( meaning like why can't I do what the porn girls do) and when he says that it makes me feel worthless and that I don't do a good job. I told him when he says that stuff to me it make me feel I'm not good enough. He tells me I'm good enough and I do good anyway last night I told him again plz stop watching it I told him how I felt like he watches porn but denies us being intimate he's not in the mood but he watches porn and i just don't know what to do he just keeps doing it and seems like he doesn't care about how I feel.

User article | pornography, masturbation

“My boyfriend masturbates in bed”

I've caught my boyfriend of five months on multiple occasions masturbating in bed right next to me. I get very offended and angry because I would much rather have him wake me up to take care of it. I've told him this. He always denies it completely and makes it sound like I'm delusional for even thinking that he would do such a thing. I feel like he switched it to make me the bad person so he doesn't feel guilty. I'm just not sure what to do about it.

Ask the community | intimacy, sex, decline, pornography

He lied to me about porn

I found out in May my boyfriend was watching Trans porn in the bathroom right next to the room at night when i was waiting in bed for him.. he lied to me over and over again & finally came out with the truth after i saw he followed them on instagram. I’m still very hurt about this situation and just recently saw there’s trans people blocked from last month on his instagram.. i don’t know wether i should stay with him or just leave i don’t want to be cheated on in real life in the future .. Im also pregnant:( And when we have sex It’s always from the back Never intimate.. I had a talk with him but i think another is needed

User article | sex, pornography

Husband had an addiction to transgender

I don’t even know where to start…. It all began on my honeymoon. I found out that my husband had a very ugly past. He had been with over 10 transgender sex workers, frequented gay establishments to have sexual encounters with men anonymously, would use “glory holes” to get off, has multiple accounts on cheating apps as well as transgender for rent apps. He had once posted an ad on Craigslist to try to find someone. He was completely obsessed. This was going on until a couple months before he and I met. Supposedly he has not done or even thought about any of this since we’ve been together. We’ve been together 2 years. We have been talking to a certified sec therapist. This is a sex addiction. And similar to drugs or alcohol addiction this won’t go away. There isn’t a cure. He can learn how to cope and not give into triggers if he’s willing to do the hard work. He has to take a polygraph after his disclosure letter to me. This is all done thru the CSAT. He can’t be trusted. He lied to me from the very beginning of our relationship. I should have knows all of this. Now I am here with him. I uprooted my 4 kids from our home and we have combined our families. He also has 4 kids. This is a complete nightmare.

User article | pornography, affair, addiction

“Transgender addiction?”

I am actually so surprised to see so many others going through this.. I thought it was just me. I totally don't understand why men would want to look at transgender women if they are not bi or something along those lines. Is this associated with sex addiction? My partner has had major trauma in his younger years which I think has led him to be how he is today. He has cheated more than once. He is constantly looking at porn. Now I have recently discovered he had been looking at transgender. He says he is not bi. He just likes the look of them. He physically cannot help himself even if he wanted to I don't think he would. He has said several times he doesn't want to be like this. If u don't want to be like something then don't. The only reason I have stayed is because I believe he has issues and I don't like to give up on people. Obviously the fact that I love him is there also. If there are any men out there or women who have advice as to when he can't control himself. Our sex life is great in my opinion we have a lot of sex so I just don't get it.

User article | pornography, transgender

Boyfriend watching transgender porn

Me and my partner have been together and lived together for almost 3 years! 6 months into our relationship I come home from work as he left for work and he accidentally left transgender porn on his computer. I confronted him. He denied it and said it must have been a random video that was next lined up. I believed him and left it. Happened again another 4 times over the next year. He denied every one and had an excuse for each.i then found myself anxious and suspicious. I went through his computer and phone one night and found more than enough evidence of his interests. I screenshotted everything. That morning I confronted him. He denied it for a second then admitted to everything. We broke up then 2 weeks later we got back together. As long as he kept his promise to stay away from this kind of porn. As to me it is not natural.? i told him if I see it again we will break up again. I’ve just found more on his laptop and computer. And I’m so scared he might be gay or one day loose interest. I’m disgusted. I have confronted him again. He admitted to it. Although I mentioned why would he do it again if it meant loosing the relationship but he had no answer for me. Please help me.

User article | pornography, rejection

“Partner lying about porn”

Hi peps. Am really struggling and don't know where to turn or talk to. I have been with my partner four years now and, for the last three, we have not had sex in any form or fashion. I have tried everything from moaning to leaving him to sort his head out after chatting about it. But nothing then omg i found porn videos on his phone confronted him totally denied it said he never typed it in or watched them. So with me not having any more sound proof had to leave it. Couple months later i thought 1 night after he been drinking i check age. And am not shitting u. He had typed to try get away with it. Hairy mot and blo job. I copied and pasted the link. And there i had it porn videos from all sorts sites pornhub everything. Pulled him up yet again still denied the lot.. Wat the hell do i do lol

User article | sexless, pornography, rejection

“Help – partner looks at porn”

Reading this has brought me mixed feelings on this topic. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been together for a little under a year and a half, and we live together too. Our sex life blows, we have sex twice a week and he can't last longer than two minutes without cumming. And when he cums, he can't get hard again, ever. So I never get a happy ending and he doesn't even try. He's not romantic whatsoever. I try to be sexy and spice things up but nothing works. It's like trying to get intimate with a wall. And he always tells me that he's not a big sex guy in general, and I respect that because I do not want to cause a rapey vibe whatsoever. So I was playing music off his phone and I went to his safari and went to type in the title of a dubstep song, and a porn site came up. I was shocked because he's not a big sex guy as he tells me. So what the fuck are you doing on a porn site? I find it disrespectful because he knows how insecure I am and it just fucks with me emotionally. I read articles that say its OK to be uncomfortable and it's OK for him to watch porn because its not cheating. But honestly i'm really bothered by it. I don't even wanna know what he looks up.

Ask the community | sexless, pornography, rejection

“No sex without porn?”

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year. He is older, I just turned 50 and he is 63. He said he hadnt been with a woman for over 20 years and when we got together he seemed like he wasnt nervous or unsure at all. I thought it would be weird and awkward for him and he’d be out of practice but quite the opposite. We had sex a lot at first, like most new relationships, it wasnt mind blowing and he’d complain if I had the slightest stubble ( Im italian and have dark coarse hair, shave in the morning and have stubble by that night. I took it in stride and dis what I could. Anyway, the sex started getting less and less unless I dressed in some outfit and made it happen. Now he barely touches me, wont do oral and Im clean, I have to be on top and he doesnt really get that hard. Finally we watched a porn the other day and he got rock had instantly and after 5 minutes of sex he cums. So now Im like wow, he can get hard as a rock, but cums in 5 minutes. And this after telling me for months he thinks he has low T and has a hard time getting stiff or even aroused. My self esteem is in the toilet and now even worse. So it seems I dont make him excited or turn him on, he has to have porn.

Ask the community | intimacy, sex, pornography

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