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“Unrequited for 12 years”

My situation is ridiculously unusual. I have been in a platonic loving partnership with a man for the past 12 years. No sexual contact exists between us because he has had no experiences yet plenty of rejection by girls when he was growing up. I have tried various ways to work through the the physical stuff yet simply hit a brick wall.

I am immensely attractive and very giving of my self to him in all other ways despite still having my own strong feelings for a man I knew – 12 years ago or more. This man isn't married yet in a long term relationship with a woman. He also has a complex relationship with his sister and likes to seduce young men to engage in sexual activities with him. He doesn't know that I know all of this. I am pretty certain his wife knows something but is way too protective of the false family he appears to embrace.

While I haven't gone all out to let him know my feelings, he has gone all out to let me know that he still likes me – I can't say how because someone could read my post and link stuff together. His attraction to me isn't superficial and does have history. I never slept with him, yet the opportunity is always there and both of us shared a meaningful human connection. His wife sort of figured out something was 'going on' but it's nothing physical, despite him making physical gestures and comments that he wanted to make out with me.

Over the past 12 years we now only bump into one another and still those feelings are mutual yet unexplored. Every time he sees me, beeps his horn at me, etc. He is locally known by a lot of people and runs a tenancy business. I love my partner wholeheartedly and never once cheated on him, yet these unexplored feelings for this other man plague my life – he is surrounded and protected by others, not because of me, but because of other things I can't go into. I guess I am attracted to danger. Who knows?

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