Hello, everyone. I am a 29 year old person, seeking some advice and guidance.
So... I started working as a healthcare assistant at a local facility in 2019, in the midst of the whole pandemic, which is where I met this good friend. Though, we didn't officially meet until the following year because the divisions of the company we worked for were technically owned by 2 different companies in the same nursing home. He had worked there for several years but, we knew of each other and became loose friends through that though we were seeing other people. He is very kind to everyone, willing to always help and make every person feel cared for and appreciated. To be honest, I always had a crush on him but, he was older than me by a few years so I never saw anything happening.
The next year, we were very short staffed due to the pandemic, causing me to take a part time job in his department as a delivery and transport aide. At the time, we were still seeing other people, however, became better friends. I even began to looks up to him as a wise and guiding hand because I was learning from him and several others I was working alongside in his area of this nursing home. We both continued to work there until August of 2021 because the pay wasn't worth the work we were doing when I gained a certification as a nursing assistant to work in the local hospital. He also got a job there, needing more financial independence because of an issue which he was very honest with every member of our staff about. His spouse was leaving him. She told him it was a long time coming for her and that she didn't find their relationship beneficial any more even though they had 2 kids together. Naturally, we all tried to support him and be there for him because he is a wonderful person who was always so good to us.
When we both started working at the hospital, I reached out just to make sure he was doing okay. Somehow, he had managed to convince her to stay with him despite their differences of opinion on most subjects. We began talking very frequently about the issues he faced. In a few months of talking about religion, music, sports, personal views, we found we had a great deal in common. I am not the type to come between two people being raised in an Irish and Italian Catholic family. Most of our conversations consisted of my trying to help him to fix his relationship, suggesting therapy and talking. He recently told me that he felt like he always had to walk on eggshells, becoming resigned to her view of men. He told me he knew that he was viewed only as a paycheck, as the man of the house but his opinion was not valued nor was he and he had to be okay with not having an intimate relationship unless she requested it, which usually involved alcohol to set the mood for her.
He also told me that he had been thinking of me in certain ways, had been attracted to me in the past and did wish circumstances could be different but he is too good a man to leave his family and I am not the type to ask him to. Please help! I feel nauseous and scared and guilty but, also so hopeless. What should we do in this crappy situation?