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What to do with the clingy best friend

So First off, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6-7 years. now. We met in high school and now entering our 2nd and 3rd year of college. When. met J, I was a sophomore and he was a freshman in high school. We were both in band and everyone thought he was super cute (expecially the girl that would become his best friend, we will call her H.) Everyone of the girls thought he was super cute and super handsome, and I heard it most from H.

Well soon after meeting him and absolutely loving his wonderful personality and his presence, we ended up finding out we liked each other and soon started dating. When this happened H started telling everyone that she loved J as a brother and if people would ask she would say, “Yeah, he’s my brother.” Now all through high school H would get extremely close to J. I mean like chest on arm, head on shoulder, and hand in hand. It got to the point where people asked if J and I had broken up or if J and H were together and incesting. This completely messed with me because I was hearing that because of how close they are people thought they were a thing.

So dealing with that I finally made it to my senior year and while J entered his junior year. I tried to get over the H begging way to clingy and was slowly letting it go till one day at band we were talking about cars with some others kids when H said, “Oh yeah If you think that cat is cute you should see J's.” I looked at her and asked how she would have known J's cat since the cat stays in his room and behold she told me she had went to J's house multiple times to see him and saw the cat there. I never knew she came over and I even found out that night that he had went to her house and I only found out cause H had me on Snapchat and accidentally posted a picture of her and J.

Now I trust J 100% but I’ve been through the cheating and hiding thing with two previous boyfriends. As much as I trust him, I don’t trust other girls especially ones who don’t respect boundaries I asked to be set multiple times. With nothing changing even with me talking to J, he told me she only sees him as a friend and he would never let her Persue him, and that he would never cheat on me or get with someone else. So with no end to their friendship I gave up and swallowed the fact that I had to deal with it.

Now fast forwards to a couple months ago (I haven’t heard anything from H besides text like How’s J, hey where’s J, hey is J okay, she doesn’t even try to have a conversation with me she only asks about MY boyfriend). (I also don’t want J hanging out with her because after high school she started smoking, doing drugs, and even going with guy to guy.) I had told J I was going to a small Halloween party and went with some close friends of mine since J was busy. I had 1 drink while some others had a couple more.

Well towards the end of the night, a friend got super drunk and past out. I helped her onto a couch and tried watching out for her just in case she needed a puke bucket. Another friend that had came to the party with a close girl friend of mine started asking if I would have a threesome with him and the my passed out drunk friend. I quickly declined and ended up staying till about midnight until my drunk friend woke up so I could make sure the guy wouldn’t have his way with her while she was out.

Once she woke up and was leaving with another close friend, I got calls from J so I got my keys and left to go home. When I got home, I opened up the many missed phone calls from J and called him back. When he answered I got yelled at and questioned about where I was and what had happened at the party. I boldly and honestly told him I had 1 drink, I stayed because my friend was drunk and I didn’t want something bad to happen to her, a drunk guy friend and asked for a threesome but I declined, and that that was it. He told me H had told him I slept and had a threesome with that girl and the guy and I was a lying no good slut. She even texted me awful things and had other people call and text me as well. I was livid I told him believe her or me. He believed me and said she was just being a “good friend.” I was so extremely pissed because he believed her without hearing what I had to say first. What made me really mad tho was that she didn’t call me or ask me what had happened before talking to J.

Now fast forward to today I haven’t heard anything from H till this morning when she asks about J. What should I do, should I just tell him hey look I can’t do this, she’s a manipulative and rude person so it’s either she stays and I leave or you let her go? Please someone help…

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