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“Relationship issues and trust”

I am writing about my friend who is desperately looking for help or some therapy to help her through the rough journey. Therapist visits are expensive and a lower middle class family cannot afford it. If you can somehow help her, I'm sure it would help millions of other women who can relate to their own story.

One day she caught her husband of 26 years cheating on her. He had been seeing the other woman for past two years and exchanging sexual messages and spending time together alone with the other woman. He was having a sexual relationship with the other woman and also constantly sexting with her for past two years.

My friend's whole world crashed. She could not accept it. Her husband was her ideal, someone she cherished and looked upon always. He was her strength. She could not bear the pain and hurt and would cry for hours locking herself in the toilet. She wanted to leave her husband but could not do so, thinking of her kids. Now every time she looks at his face she cannot find the man she once loved. It was as if he was a stranger and 26 years of her life with him felt a waste. She felt let down.

The day she caught him cheating was a tragic day. She was running a very high fever, so he lovingly took her to the doctor, gave her medicine and put her to bed and then went to meet the other woman saying he was going for a prayer meeting. All along he was planning and plotting while being so nice to her on the face. She could not bear this hypocrisy. Everyday she goes through anguish and pain. She tells me how could he do this to her and then come back home and sleep and share their bed as if nothing happened? She says her whole faith and trust is broken and now she does not know how she can believe in him? She cannot afford a therapist. Please help her with your suggestions on how she can move forward. Your feedback would help her greatly.

Also, I would like to mention one more thing which I missed mentioning. She had confronted her husband on this and he said that it was nothing and a mistake and would not repeat it. He said she asked him if he wanted sex and so he had said yes and it was only a sexual relationship. My friend feels because he got caught and forgot their love and togetherness when he cheated on her. She feels he keeps contact with her and in his mobile her number is still kept saved.

N----- talks of death and wanting to die and although she is still with him, she cannot come to terms with her pain and is unable to trust him anymore. This worries me as she was a very jovial and loving person and now she is withdrawn and in her own shell, not wanting to meet people. Please help. Very worried for her. She is not in a position to hire a therapist.

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