My wife and I have been together for 15 years. We are very compatible and get on well but for some years we have been drifting and not appreciating one another. We have two wonderful children whom we both adore and who we love raising together. A few years ago my wife decided to focus more on herself. Where previously I would have considered that we were soul mates it was painful to see her separate from me and I couldn’t rationalize how the desire to set up a business meant no longer sharing her thoughts and feelings with me. I realized a couple of years ago that I was no longer her priority and then about a year ago I asked if she was still in love with me. She said no, nor did she know if she wanted to stay with me. I wondered about an affair but she always said that she’s too busy and that this wasn’t her. She is obsessed with time on her own, in part because of her perception that I am clingy and also mainly because she just needs a break from the kids and her day to day life. She went away for a weekend in June with some girlfriends. She mentioned that she’d met a guy there that she used to go to school with. Because I trusted her I thought nothing of it. Sex has been patchy between us since having kids and we started sleeping together more regularly after this trip away. I just put it down to the fact that she’d had a good time and I felt happy that I had been able to support her in doing this. We spent some time with her family in France this summer. I needed to return home to work and my wife was very keen to stay in France for two further weeks. This confused me as she hates the countryside and she gets stressed with being alone with the kids. Clearly she wanted some time apart from me. Just before I left she mentioned that this guy was to visit her with some girls. Again, I thought nothing of it. While I was alone back home I think we spoke about three times and the communication from her was friendly but very matter of fact. Things were awful when she came back and she seemed very cold and distant. I felt suspicious of this guy and asked our son where they’d both slept. He said one thing and my wife had said another. She’d left her inbox open on the PC and I saw quite a passionate email between her and him and a photo of them together during the original weekend away and I knew that there had been an affair. When I confronted her, her reaction was to say I was crazy and that we have problems. I told her what I’d read and then she admitted emotional infidelity but she denied sex because she had her period at the time. I asked her why she did it and she said because he desired her and made her feel like she did when she was young. It turned out that while we were apart she spent hours and hours on her own reading letters from when she was a teenager and listening to music from that time too. I guess she’s having some kind of mid-life crisis, something that she recognized and promptly signed up for therapy with a relationship counsellor I’d located a few years ago to try to do something for our stagnation. This discovery has prompted the most amazing rekindling of our relationship. We have started to have an extremely active sex life and are close physically in a way that we hadn’t been in years. We have started to diet together and to exercise more. I recently ran my first half marathon and I have lost 15kg. We are attending a tantra course together and have two weekends alone planned plus concerts and holidays. We spend our evenings talking and planning and sharing and feeling very connected. For the last few years she has been telling me that there is no such thing as unconditional love. What this experience has shown me is that this isn’t true: that I am still in love with her and that I love her unconditionally. I have told her that I forgive her and I believe this. I have also apologized sincerely for all the million and one things that I did over the years to make her distance herself from me. She feels now that I really listen to her. Our children are so important to us, but I feel that our relationship is more central to our family now. The children see that we are in the bedroom more than before and don’t sleep with our pajamas on but they are happy to play with each other and we still do a lot with them. The one remaining cause for difference is that I don’t really know what happened between them so much as “nothing really happened”. My view is that if this is the case then just tell me what happened and let’s move on. Of course I have doubts that they slept together or at the very least shared our bed but I’d rather know that than feel that she continues to hide things from me. And I’d rather know this now than to discover this years later. Her view is that she is an individual and entitled to her privacy. I agree but not with regard to infidelity. I don’t want to bring it up any more and she has said that she won’t tell me although annoyingly that she was going to tell me. He lives in another country and I’ll never meet him. It hurts that she had him come to stay with our family in France especially that this was literally hours after I left to go home. But that’s it. She did what she did and it’s over. Things are great between us now - really great. I actually feel that she could fall in love with me again. Maybe she already has. So should I just stop wondering what happened during this brief affair or am I entitled to know?

Hello lovely people! I wanted to share my current situation with you as it is not easy for me. I am a 23yo male currently having a relationship with a woman who is 14 years older than me (37). It all started about five months ago. We were working together and there was something between us. She is married but her husband is working outta town and is missing for a few months then he is back in here for a few months. Our story started as you can guess when he was away. I will call her B. B is a shy and innocent person. B said that she has never cheated before in any of her relationships and it is her first time doing that. She is married for 10 years and has no kids. She said that she chose him not because of love and passion but because of him being good and right for her (Beta male provider :). So my experience with her is truly amazing. The greatest sex in my life. We text all day with 'I love yous' etc. When together, nothing matters and it is a fairy tale. So we were seeing each other for a month and then her husband came back. She said that they live in a sexless marriage since a year and a half. He wants to have sex with her however she does not. Last time they had sex she cried etc. The thing is that when he came back (two months since he is here), she is still coming to my place once a week for 2-3 hours. She claims that she is staying faithful to me by not having sex to him. At the start she said that having sex with him is something mandatory, before he came back she said the year and a half sexless thing. I believe her about it as she is not that kind of person. However, she will not leave him as she is scared and also wants to have children. They tried to have child in the past but it didn't work. Now when it comes to this she is like crying and saying that she doesn't want a child from a person she is not in love with. She will also not leave him as I cannot offer her a future due to the age gap. She just wants to have both of us hooked but it is really torturing to me as I am constantly thinking about her day after day and it is freaking me out I am completely mentally obsessed and all I get is two hours a week. Her husband is suspicious of her, however, he is the beta male that wont start a fight or check on her phone. (we are texting every night before she goes to sleep while he is watching movies in the other room). I read some stuff online with similar stories and I know that I have to leave her. A clean breakup. However, I do not want to do it because everything is amazing and the love we give each other is huge. Can you share some thoughts please? Will be very appreciated.

I am a married man, I have a wife and 2 teens. I’ve been married for over 15 years now. My wife is a good mom, but her lack of drive for success, and the mentality of being a housewife has turned me off for many years now. I’ve had a conversation with her about 7 years ago about going out there and getting her degree to challenge herself and help the family financially, I was always met with negative responses. Asking her to get a job was somewhat insulting to her and she tends to tell me I’m to blame for because I don’t like the jobs she applied to (they were not worth the time for the money) and she refused to get a job at decent places with good benefits (like Walmart or Aldi). In any event, through the years I’ve grown professionally and financially with very little financial input from her. I’ve taken care of her parents abroad as well as mine and I feel like I’ve just been a cash cow for everyone. I’ve had numerous discussions with her about my feelings and she finally decided to go out there and get a degree (because she senses I'm going to leave her) which I’m helping pay for, but for many years now I have not been connected to her emotionally, I don’t love her anymore and many things happened between us and her family where she didn’t back me up and chose her family instead. I am only married to her because of my kids. The sex is there just to take care of our needs, we don’t even kiss. During the pandemic I started trying to improve on one of the 4 languages I speak. I met someone on a language app, we started talking, very quickly moved to video conversations and we both started developing feelings. We share many goals, aspirations, and she is the complete opposite of my wife in so many levels which just draws me to her even more. She is also married. We’ve been romantically talking for 4 years now online consistently. Her husband is a macho guy who wants her as a maid essentially, she is putting her self through school with the help of her grandfather (who dislikes her husband) and is on her way to becoming a lawyer this year. I love everything about this woman. We met in person (I had a work trip to her country). We had great conversations and made love, I felt so at home with her I couldn’t believe it. I have never felt so happy in my life, never felt like this with my wife. She has never asked me for a nickel, and she’s helped me in some many ways, I feel like a different man with her. We both want out of our marriages, but I’m afraid of hurting my kids (16 and 13) and disrupting their lives. She is willing to leave her husband for me, she too has a kid (8 years old). I also don’t want to hurt my wife, I don’t love her but I don’t also want to hurt her self esteem and she also cannot support herself financially yet as she is in school till 2024 and working 1 day week for now. She knows I don’t love her like the first day we got married, we talked about it, tried working on it for a few years but it’s no use. We are both in our 40s and I am not happy with her and I feel I’d be giving up my own happiness if I don’t pursue my life with the other woman whom I love. I also feel my wife deserves to be loved, by someone who truly feels for her, not me. I don’t know what to do.

Hello lovely people! Today I am going to tell u about my affair with married woman and how it suddenly end . I want your reply to on my questions . The affair was started between me and her 4 month ago. We were texting all day and calling . She complain about her husband that he is doing great business of stock market . One day we met at my home and we had sex together , after that she angry on me and suddenly block me on what app and Instagram . She said me she don't love me . I am feeling hurt . Nnow my questions is , I know she likes still though but will she ever talk to me again ? Will she ever return to me ? What should I do to get her back ? She leaves near my house . What sort of thing I can do tso that she return to me ?

She has never cheated in 9 years she says he just stuck it in and she ran away. the second time was worse. Could she become a serial cheater? my boss slept with my wife, and he wont fire me because i am his top producer! I'm dying inside because also i didn't have contact with my wife for days and she slept with a guy at the bar, each time she told me immediately and begged me for forgiveness, I don't know if I can ever look at her the same! I love her just not the same and I would do anything for that feeling back.

My gf and I broke up in Aug 2019. We had a big argument over the phone and we both decided to just break up. This happened while my gf was on a business trip with a male co-worker, who she and I knew was a total fuckboy (co-worker went to the same university as us). So long story short, I’ve always told my gf to watch out for this co-worker. She would always reassure me that she’s always careful and that she wont let anything happen Anyway, less than a day after the breakup, my gf gave her co-worker head and started a month-long fling with him. They would make out in their office after everyone else had left and they would go on dates together. It went on for a few weeks until my gf found out that the co-worker had a gf he didn't tell her about. My gf started distancing herself from her co-worker and we eventually fixed things and got back together. I asked her if she hooked up or did anything while we were apart. She said no and we moved on. Our relationship actually got better after the breakup. Fast forward to Aug 2020, the co-worker’s ex messaged me out of the blue and told me about everything. I didn't believe her at first but I confronted my gf about it. My gf only confessed to kissing ONE TIME but I managed to get the WHOLE truth out of her. She even confessed to messaging the co-worker to not tell me anything because she was “desperate” to hide the truth in fear that I would break up with her. I am obviously hurt by what she did immediately after our breakup, and the fact that she lied and hid this from me for a year. She claims she was only really lonely and lost at the time when she initiated giving head to her co-worker. She told me she just liked the attention he gave and that she wanted to do something rebellious out of anger over the breakup. My gf also reassures me that we got back together not only because of the revelation that the co-worker had a gf (she says this only opened her eyes that what she was doing was wrong), but because she had always loved me and wanted to fix things right from the very beginning. I broke up with her after I found out. She bawled her eyes out and was literally at my feet begging me not to leave her. A few days passed and I forgave her and decided to take her back. She swears she would never lie again and that our relationship would come out stronger after this. Should I believe her and stay in our relationship?

To start, I will apologize for the lengthy post, as this dates back several years. My wife and I have been married for almost seven years, but our relationship has been in deep, deep water for over five. Before our first child was born, we had what I refer to as typical married couple problems. The honeymoon stage faded and we (so I thought) were getting comfortable with one another. I was mistaken on the we part, I suppose. She was overly demanding about us going back into the honeymoon stage, which is fine, I understood. It was shortly after everything became unhinged. We fought a lot. I was convinced I had done a great wrong to her, and I was trying to atone for it. Things steadily went downhill. She started going out with friends. No problem there, I trusted her and I am by no means controlling. However, she didn't come home. I would stay up all night, calling and texting and calling some more (she had a daughter from a previous relationship of whom we solely took care of, so I couldn't just go off looking for her). I would spend the whole night, and morning, pacing, worried to death until I had to start worrying about what to do with our daughter so I could go to work. She would show up sometime about 30 minutes before I had to leave. Usually by means of someone dropping her off at the corner up the road and her walking home. Big red flag right? She said nothing happened she got too drunk and stayed at (insert name here)'s house. I fought my gut and trusted her. It happened more times than I can count. Until we finally decided to take some time apart and work on ourselves. The agreement, initiated by her, that we were not seeing other people, was verbal. I do my best to cope and just try to take care of myself and my daughter (stepdaughter, who I consider my own). She started coming around more, which was showing me that we are trying to make this work again. Then I started hearing things from people I interact with at my job. Started seeing things as well. For instance, I seen my wife walk out of a random house at 7 am, in her pajamas, walking home. I confronted her about it and bluntly asked if she was seeing other guys. Denial is all I ever got from her. At this point nothing was adding up, nothing at all. However right or wrong it was, I needed answers, and I had a huge gut feeling that she wasn't being honest, so I abducted her phone and I found all the answers I needed. She had slept with a guy named T, of course deleted most of the messages, but there was enough there to tell me. I confront her, again. The argument ended in the "don't do it again" category. That was guy #1. We were "back together" now. At least that was what we had said to one another. Things started getting fishy again very quickly. She was going to the movies with a friend, who is much younger than my wife, that she never hung out with, and much more suspicious activity. The staying out all night thing happened some more too. So again, right or wrong, I looked to her phone again, and sat crying for over three hours after. Not only was she sleeping with someone else again, but she was starting a relationship with him. Going on dates, kissing, holding hands, etc. Which I found that she had lied about who she went to the movies with, no surprise. That was guy #3 (yes 3, I didn't skip 2, I just didn't know about him, yet). STILL, I took her back. I know probably my biggest mistake, but no doubt I love this woman. Very much. I was very conflicted at this point. Very. My confliction was put to the side, we were about to have my first daughter. Almost a couple of years pass. Some of the shady stuff didn't stop, and I was at the point of where I couldn't trust her anymore. I expressed over and over what I needed for this relationship to work. She was still going out, sometimes not coming home until 3 am. STILL, I stayed. I was not who I was before, I was depressed and anxiety was taking over most of the time, but I made the best out of what family I had. After almost two years go by, I found out about guy #2, in a pretty bad way. I didn't abduct her phone this time, instead I seen a message from a J, saying "so she may be mine?" You probably already know by now that the conversation was about my recently born daughter and her telling him that she could be his. Stake to the heart, twist a bit, get the splinters in there realllllll good. It wasn't the fact that she slept with him, or even the nature of the conversation that hurt the most. It was the why. Why, after all this time? Why when I was starting to have a bit more faith in our relationship? (the fact that she could not be mine, hurt, but it matters not, DNA match or not, she is my daughter. I still don't know the answer to that question). It's as if all those years ago she took a knife and cut me, very deeply. Over the years she just kept slicing at the same wound, so it never healed. I shut down. Emotionally. I was cold as ice, I lost complete control. To put this in perspective, my wife was on her knees crying and begging me to not go, even mentioned suicide a few times in that moment, I walked away without a word. If anyone knew me, that is not me at all. I STILL didn't go anywhere. I just slept in a different room for while. I'll flash forward a bit and sum this part up. We had another daughter who is going on 3 now. (so three daughters; 3, 4 and 12). Some shady stuff happened still. I was out of town for work for a week, and I happened to see a dude leaving my house at 3 am on my cameras at home. (I had them set for motion trigger from 8 pm to 8 am). I finally go get help, from a shrink. After a few sessions, I had some breakthroughs. I cried again, for the first time in a couple years. That day, that very day, that I felt like I could be myself again. She told me she was dating another man. For how long? I don't know. Back to devastation. I was completely broken all over again. The whole separation was nasty. I wasn't very nice, I was angry. Time went by. I started talking to and eventually dating someone new. I wasn't happy, but it was worth a shot. My wife started coming around more, being overly nice to me and eventually begged me to try again. I told her no the first time. However, I was not happy with where I was, so I ended the other relationship, and yep, like a fool, I tried again. This was sometime last year. The guy she was with kept coming back one way or another, even after I expressed that I needed her to cut ties with him. Selfish? Maybe. That's what I needed though, and she didn't. She met him at a hotel and ignored me all night. I told her I loved her that night and never got a response. We went to the movies together, drove separate cars. After the movie, I thought I would stop by her place for a bit. She's not there. So I thought I would check where she worked at, because she will go there to hang out sometime. Nope. My house. Nope. His house. Yep. There's her car. I called her immediately, over and over and over, until she finally answered. This was almost two hours later. I asked her if she was at his house, and she lied to me, again and again. Even after I told her I seen her car (which is very distinguishable), she lied. I kept at it until she finally admitted it. But I was wrong for "following" her. She swears that she didn't even go inside. Right. I went through her phone a few times and never liked what I found. *ick pics, sexual conversations between her and multiple guys. One was the guy that I had seen walking out of my house on camera at 3 am. Which is funny to me, because the date he was in my house, is about the same time my youngest daughter was conceived. So all caught up, mostly. Here I am, now, emotionally a wreck and so conflicted about, well, everything. Do I have any biological kids? Why am I still doing this to myself? I love this woman, obviously, more than I could ever describe, but I'm hanging really closely on the side of this is done. She is still talking to other guys. One was just last week. He messaged her showing interest in her, and she just messaged back. There was nothing sexual or whatnot. However, he wanted her to call him and she did. The thing that bothers me, is that she did not decline, maybe she didn't accept either, but the fact she didn't say no I'm trying to work things out with my husband really really bothers me. I'm just really stuck in a rut and I have no idea what to do. I'm so back and forth, one day to the next.

I just found out my wife is having an affair with her boss - sexual, emotional. Let me tell you that we were planning for a baby now that we are four years into our marriage. I know our relationship isn't perfect but I was shocked to find out that I have been betrayed this badly. I confronted her and she was unapologetic saying that she's not happy with our marriage which she had never mentioned before. I admit that I have had my faults and our marriage needed work - but her reaction after I found out is what scares me to forgive and move on. it felt like she was not even sorry. What should I do?

I was always a bit more mature than my age and within those hormone-tossing years of teenagehood, I met a girl. She came to my home with a group of her friends to see a cousin of mine who was staying with us. She totally stunned me and I felt as if my heart, known to be ice cold, was beating to trek out of my rib cage. Sadly, having a reputation to uphold and back in the day only going for women older than me, I left the house till they had gone. Five years ago (and this is now some 40 years later), we met again. We found out that we have had the same friends and lived in the same cities in different parts of the world, and our mothers were colleagues in Meds School and work. Despite both being married – I with five sons, she childless – we began an affair. I have never felt so madly in love as I do with her, and I have been riddled with guilt and sadness because I no longer wish to live or continue my marriage which is an open marriage of sorts. I have made financial preparations to deal with the outcome of a separation from my wife to support her and the children, but the loyalty experienced and battles won together, hurdles crossed over in my marriage, tug at me. I feel so ashamed of my feelings for the new woman in my life. I have contemplated all the people that would be hurt in the process of being with the new woman in my life, and it sickens me. I feel disgusted with my actions and do not know how to address the issue with my wife. So, I called the affair off! I feel better for ending it and feel it is for the greater good. What I am looking to do now is admit it to my wife, who even though she agreed with me to an open marriage, will struggle to understand how I came close to leaving her for another woman.

Ah god i feel so awful for even thinking this! I am married to an absolutely lovely man who would do anything for me, i am super lucky that he is as good as he is and i know this. Yet one of my friends husbands is saying how much he likes me and i find him attractive too. We live 50 miles apart and he says he would come down to see me. I keep saying we shouldn't but he says we should and part of me really wants to! I know i shouldn't. I almost feel as if im two separate people and the one wants to go do what she wants and the other knows that i love my husband and father of my children (and i do still find him attractive). Why cant i control my thoughts?! I feel like such a tramp.

Can anyone shed advice If im being used / taken advantage of… I met this girl at my job, she’s a single mom with two small kids who was in the store shopping one day and just flat out gave me her number when I asked if she needed help out to her car with her items. She has two small kids, fled an abusive and violent husband from out of state and is currently living with old family friends, and… is a recovering heroin addict. Now the people she lives with always have her running errons and doing things for them non stop, shes a busy lady, and being a single mom with two kids I get she has little time. But it seems the only real time we get is when she comes into the store and goes on a shopping spree for clothes and stuff. I know its my fault for buying the stuff, but it seems to make her so happy cause of the horrible past she has, and she has said that no other guy before has ever been this nice to her, they would sit on the sofa and tell her to do things her self, wouldn’t help her out with nothing, abused her, the whole nine yards, so she enjoys when I treat her in my words “like a queen” But that seems to be the problem.. that’s all we ever do…. She calls me a lot on the phone just to talk…. But getting togeather like a boyfriend and girlfriend should… shes always too busy with the kids, running the familys chores and she cant tell anyone about me because this family will question her to death and she doesn’t feel like dealing with it or the chance they would kick her out. They always think she will relapse and monitor her like a hawk… open her mail, give her random drug tests, just in my mind treat her like a slave and abuse the shit out of her, but due to her small kids and past with bad guys, she s afraid to take me up on my offer to move in with me…. But to the point…. Every time we see each other its at my job and usually racks me up about 40-80 $ worth of clothes. I get told by friends all the time “hey bro she’s using you” and “she s only with you for your money” I have those feelings sometimes too, and have brought it up, and she gets upset and says its not true but if u think it is then break up with me or ill be with you but don’t ever spend another nickle on me, and I feel bad, and it seems to just go back to the way things were. She calls me like 10 times a days and we talk about everything. We say I love you to each other and talk about a future… she says shes going threw medical issues that she wants to keep to herself for now so when I bring up sex its usually shot right down, but she does kiss me a lot…. The sex stuff I can believe, im not gonna force the issue, its just…. I wanted to get some ones opinion on the matter that’s involved…. I love this girl to death and I no being a single mom with 2 kids would give her like zero time and im greatful for the time i do get, but if she was really in love with me like i was her, wouldnt she be able to free up time for a movie or time to just sit with me and talk. its always at my work when im working and i dont no.........

This is all new to me. I have never been on any kind of forum or even asked for help/advice of any kind outside my small circle. I'm at my wits end and maybe I just need to know if I'm wrong or if it is normal for me to feel the way I do.... I am so confused! I have been married for 22 years (been together for 25 years) and we have 3 children of which two are still school going. Gosh, I dont even know how to put into words what the situation is. Of course it all started fine and life was going good until about 10 years ago. The last 10 years or so have been an emotional rollercoaster ride of note. My husband is a very dominant person and does and says things as it pleases him with no regard to anyone’s feelings. He always knows better and is never wrong. He does not take responsibility for his actions and everything is always something or someone's fault but his own. Every time I bring up something that bothers me it either ends in a silent treatment and a very strained atmosphere or the situation is turned around and it is my fault. What he says and what he does are two totally different things. He flirts and sex chats with other woman and has no time for the kids or me. He is constantly busy on his phone or PC. When I confront him on that, he always has some lame excuse or its my fault because I don't do this or that. One eg that comes to mind is I found out he bought a vibrator for another woman. When I confronted him on that, his answer was: "it wasnt an expensive one".. Seriously?? Is the cost relevant to the fact that he bought another woman a vibrator? In my mind, nothing he says can justify his actions! Six months ago we decided that we are going to separate/divorce but due to our financial situation we could not afford two households expenses. I moved out the main bedroom into the spare room. New year and our anniversary came and he told me that he didn't want to devorce me anymore. So once again we tried talking things out and he wanted to know what I needed from him to make my life easier and he wouldnt expect anything back from me. I told him that I needed his attention and that I have to be the only woman in his life and that I was not prepared to share him with other woman. Is this supposed to be a request if you choose a life partner to spend the rest of your live with? Am I asking to much? Isnt it supposed to be only me? So he has been trying really hard to give me attention and not texting when I'm with him, telling me he loves me and helping me more around the house with things and spending time with the kids, generally being a nice guy. I have to admit I do like the change in him, however he has not given up on his flirting and sex chats. Then he tells me that he doesn’t understand why I dont trust him? Over the years he has lied to me so many times that how and I supposed to trust him? He says I'm insecure and it is not his job to fix my insecurities. He is the cause of my trust issues and insecurities. What gets me the most is the flirting and sex chatting with this one girl who is as old as our daughter. I cant get past this. Its just as good as him talking to his own daughter like that. To me that is unacceptable! I’m in a catch 22 situation and I dont know what to do anymore. I can’t devorce him and leave as I have no where to go and I have no income to support myself. My whole family lives on another continant and he will not allow me to take the kids overseas, so I'm forced to stay until our youngest is 18, which is another 4 years. Am I just supposed to accept that this is who he is and he will never change and he can continue living a double life without any consequinces or any regards to my feelings? Am I being unreasonable? Am I expecting to much from him? I just don’t know anymore.....

Been married for a year and found out recently my husband had been paying for nudes from internet girls been going for sensual massages all pre-marriage. Confronted him and he basically said that it was all done and I need not be worried. Naturally the self esteem took a blow and I became attracted in hindsight to a male colleague. It progressed and turned into more than friends. We slept together and he was so charming post all this like the day after but fast forward to a week later his been radio silent, no communication whatsoever always said that I’m married and this is dangerous and now after the deed doesn’t even speak to me at work. Did he just use me? I’m shattered. And disgusted in myself for letting things get this far should I op to leave the marriage as I betrayed the trust? And did he just use me and through me away like some trash. Hurt and lost.

Detected from my wife's texts that she was having an affair with her boss, starting from 2014 – 2017. She promised me to end the affair and blocked him and I believed her. All these years I didn't have any thoughts on their affair as I took her by her word and was living happily, understanding it to be a mistake on her part. Anyone can have a fling. Last month I bought her a phone on our anniversary. Out of curiosity I dialled up her affair partner's name and it showed a female name. Being asked, she told me that seeing the name I may get irritated hence she saved by another lady’s name. It was difficult to digest as the truth. Being suspicious, I asked her to give her the full truth again, suspecting it to be a lie. Then she tells me that she is just having a friendly relationship only. I was not convinced hence again asked her repeatedly but she told me it's an emotional affair only. She was lonely, unappreciated by her in-laws and her in-laws heckled her verbally off and on. She also did have the affair to rise in corporate ladder. On further persistent questioning she confessed of minimal physical contact with her boss and supposedly it was his endeavour mainly. She told me they kissed and he fondled her sometimes, only in his car and did all these physical acts more so when simultaneously driving the car himself, but didn't allow her to touch his genitals at any point of time, and she didn't in any way engage in oral sex during entire affair period and that's the full story. I couldn't believe that at all. Further information was not given by her. According to me if you have an emotional affair it's sure to end in physical intimacy. For a few days thereafter, I saw that she was quite morose as her ex-boss had abused her over the phone recently. She has been called some names by her ex-boss hence she stopped contacting him further and blocked him. As of this I called her ex-boss and we met at a restaurant. He was only trying to show that he was not responsible for her current state of mind and they were very good friends only. In between at the restaurant I went over to collect our ordered food and hence they were then alone and talking. As I kept my recorder on I found out that it started in 2011. He was threatening to reveal all. She told him that I didn't tell my spouse that actually I started the affair with you from 2011. On this note I asked her again to tell me the truth but she blocks me out by telling nothing more is there to know. Now I know my wife had lied about duration of affair too. I am deeply scarred mentally. 7 years were taken up from my life when I was thinking that me and my wife were hardworking to run the family and we complemented each other. At any point of time she didn't try to comfort me, understand me and tell me the truth. I'm frustrated, how can I take her above confession and further progress in our life henceforth? Please guide me if you can thanks for your time.

I recently learned that my aged 44 spouse of 14 years cheated with a 22 year old. We are trying to work things out, but I have become obsessed with knowing every detail and it’s consuming me. I don’t know what to do…….

I am a Pastor. Married for 25 years I have 22 years old son,17 years and 10 years old daughter. I found job for her where I work. I enjoyed my family like nobody's business. She slept with my brother and furthermore she slept with my colleague at work. She brags with the event to her friends and siblings. How can I deal with the matter?