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“I’m not single but I’m in love with someone else”

I’m in love with my ex-best-friend's ex-boyfriend. I am in a relationship with her ex-friend. We lived together for a while. All four of us, my feelings towards my boyfriend were what I’d describe as a crush but due to finally leaving my toxic ex she helped me jump on the relationship wagon. All the while I saw her treating her then-partner with disrespect, she had him wrapped around her little finger, I always pointed it out to her and she never listened.

I used to stay awake at night feeling so angry with her, here was this beautiful kind man bending over backwards for her and she never appreciated it. I knew from then that I was falling in love with him, my feelings for my boyfriend were vanishing... bringing it to the present now. The man told me she had left him, I can’t lie, I was very happy but I was sad for him because I knew how much effort he put in.

I now speak to him and see him more than my boyfriend, I can’t say to my boyfriend what is going on between us because there’s a lot of nasty people who will literally try to destroy me. I’ve been so hurt in the past and this man is the first man who makes me feel loved and appreciates me. He makes time for me, sacrifices for me and I’ve told him I’m in love with him as I promised I would at the beginning of 2020 regardless of whether he was still dating her.

I know what I’m doing is wrong but I’m just trying to gently ease away from my boyfriend, he’s not the one for me, in many ways, I’ve been in his family home and I see how he speaks to his family and I lecture him on it in front of his mother, who sided with me. Can anybody give me advice. I’ve been the one cheated on in the past and I know I’m a hypocrite but it feels perfect with him. There’s no confusion in what we want, no obligations or stress. Help?

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