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“I didn’t tell my boyfriend”

My female coworker invited me to a weekly game and movie night. There are a bunch of strangers, girls and guys. They’re all friends and their group is always growing. My boyfriend didn’t like me going. He said it made him uncomfortable and jealous, and why would I put myself in a situation to potentially mingle with single guys? That’s not why I went but I stopped going for his sake.

I’ve kept in touch with some of the girls from group because there really nice. The whole point of me going was to make some new friends in a Christian environment. Anyway, they invited me to a birthday party for one of the guys. It would be in public, not at someone’s house. So I figured it should be fine. I talked to my boyfriend that day and didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to end up asking his permission if he didn’t like me going.

I get to the party and I realise I miss him. I talk to our host and she says he can come, so I call him up to invite him. He's hurt that I didn’t tell him about me going out because he feels I hid it from him. So the next night, after this all blows up, he goes to the strip club, making sure I know where he’s going.

He thinks I went out behind his back out of spite, because I’m “mad” when he goes out with people and doesn’t tell me, which I'm not. It is fine because I trust him. It was completely innocent, and he went out specifically as payback. He TOLD me it was payback. This isn’t even the same thing. If he had gone at random, it would’ve hurt my feelings. But the fact that he did this, to specially hurt me, I feel so hurt.

And I can’t even tell him how much it hurts me right now because he’s still hurt because he thinks I’m lying and stuff. I’ve apologised so many times because I realise his hurt feelings. He has major trust issues. But I never hurt someone deliberately out of spite and vengeance. And it hurts that he did that to me.

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