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“He left. What happened?”

Four years ago I started a relationship with a man outside of my marriage. We have been totally committed to each other even when he moved overseas with his work. It has always been a very intense and caring relationship and we were working towards being together. I recently left my marriage as we are part of the long term plan and at the same time he was moved again with his work to the other side of the world.

Now he says that, while he loves me and cares for me deeply, he needs me to let him go so he can move on and find someone who he can share his life with now, not in the future. He claims the last 18 months of being apart have devastated him and he can’t do it for another three years. I’m having difficulty seeing his reasoning given how he says he feels about me and how I feel about him.

We can continue to see each other frequently (I cannot move with him as I have two kids) and in another few years we could be together permanently as planned. I feel like I have given up so much to make this relationship work based on the commitment we continually made to each other over the years. There was no sign that he was intending to leave.

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