My husband died eight months ago after a two-year fight with cancer. He was my life, my heart, my love. People at work were and continue to be supportive. My best friend, male, has been there every step of the way. I admire him for his loyalty to his wife and kids, and how he treats his family.
One day while he was comforting me, he kissed me. I kissed him back and it was all I could think of for the entire weekend. We did kiss off and on, got handsy with each other, and had oral sex...all at work. We did send some racy pictures of ourselves to each other on Snapchat, and flirted via text. He would tell me that his family will always come first and I would not hear from him on nights and weekends (other than the snaps.).
He thanked me once for not making his life complicated. He mentioned his guilt several times, worried that I would resent him one day. I told him that I was aware what we were doing. He is very busy with his family, yet would say he would come by to help with equipment, mowing, pool care, etc, but would never show up. I trust this man with all my heart that he doesn't want to hurt me.
He would come in on Monday mornings and whisper in my ear that he missed me. He would pull me in for kisses and hugs. Oral sex, but not to completion, was an almost daily event. He finally orgasmed, and the next day the entire mood changed. He blamed his upset stomach for not being romantic...this lasted days. When I finally asked him about it, he said that he felt guilty, that I needed to have patience.
I admit that I did pull out of the tricks I have for making him want me more. I want him to want me more, knowing that he will never leave his wife. He is truly one of my best friends who has helped me (even before we were romantically involved) with the grief of my husband's death. I see him every day at work, his office faces mine. I can't imagine working without him by my side. I am trying to act like everything is OK when at work, but it isn't. How could I have two totally different yet totally painful heart breaks in such a short time?