I have an interesting story but I would really appreciate any advice and light on this. I met my boyfriend online quite a number of years ago and we had our ups and downs just like every other normal couple. However, at the beginning even though things weren't perfect he really used to give me his time, his love, his attention etc. Even if he had to go out he'd most likely try avoiding it just to spend time with me and even though I felt a little bad that he was so focused on me, I felt really loved and touched and thought 'this guy truly loves me, he'd do anything for me'. We'd spend hours just lost in time talking the night away and over those years we've come a very very long way and have truly created a deep and wonderful bond. However, as the years rolled on I noticed slight changes in him. I have mentioned the issues I've had with him NUMEROUS amounts of times and he either gets upset that he leaves or somehow tries to make me understand that I'm wrong for thinking the way I do. For example, if we disagreed on something before, he'd talk to me about it and try making things right and we'd apologise and such but now I'm afraid to mention anything because of his reaction. He'd most likely just leave, burst out on me or just try telling me I'm wrong for thinking and feeling the way I do. But recently I noticed other changes in him so I questioned him. I told him that I felt like he was avoiding me and interestingly enough we sorted it out no problem. He agreed that we'd meet up a little later after he took a rest since he was tired so I decided to just do a few things while he was sleeping. But I ended up finding out that not too long after he woke up he just decided to go play games. He was never the kind of person to avoid me or forget to message me, he never liked being away but it seems like he's happier without my company. I've been in similar situations before and it's like it never ends, I'll bring up an issue and we'll talk about it but sooner or later it's back to how things were. It's taking a toll on me emotionally and mentally and even physically but I just can't seem to let go of him even if I wanted too. I love him totally, especially since we have been through so much together but when he does these things it affects my eating, sleeping and even focusing on daily tasks. I can understand that maybe he'd want some time to himself which is fine but he is well aware that I was waiting for him and he just decided to not show up. I don't know how to get through to him but the funny thing is that although things are like this, he still speaks about wanting to get married and planning a future with me etc. When we're together and we do get some time together and he gives me his attention, I really feel on top of the world and just so great but when he does something like this.. sometimes I just automatically find my heart racing and some other effects. I don't know...am I being crazy? over-reacting? insecure?I'm assuming you may suggest to try focusing on other things more important in life and such but I simply can't. This will be on my mind and will be a huge distraction which will prevent me from focusing on something else. I also know that it isn't healthy but I just feel completely lost and so saddened, all I want is for him to go back to the way that he used to be.
Any advice on how to approach this would be so greatly appreciated and thank you for taking time out to assist me on this xx