Menu Relationship issues
“Tired of feeling rejected by my husband”

My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for almost 10. When we were dating, he had a high sex drive, often pursued sex with me and never turned down my advances. A month after we were married he suffered a major concussion which compounded his mental illnesses. This caused him to lose all interest in sex. He rarely initiated it and rarely accepted my advances no matter what I tried, wore, or how I presented myself.

As his injury healed over the next year, some improvements were made. During that time I became pregnant which complicated our sex life a bit. After our baby was born he lost all interest in sex with me and told me he was no longer attracted to me (even though I lost any post-baby weight two months after giving birth and was still wearing clothing that I wore during high school. Since then, our sex life has continued to suffer.

Years later, he says he now finds me attractive and feels terrible for how he treated me in the beginning of our marriage. However, he still consistently turns me down when I come on to him. We have sex often but only in the mornings if he has time before work. He’s tried hard to heal the hurts he caused to my self esteem but when I do put myself out there sexually by wearing lingerie or by telling him I want him later then he seems barely interested and by the time “later” roles around it isn’t even on his mind.

I am just so tired of continuing to put myself out there only to be rejected or overlooked again. I know he’s trying to make up for the horrible things he said about my body before but he still just doesn’t seem that interested in sex. I don’t know how to continue to put myself out there and risk him not prioritising responding to my efforts.

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