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“My partner is messaging other men”

I have been with my partner for seven and a half years. After the first six months I found out that she and her ex were still texting. This really upset me and so she agreed to stop. About a month ago, I noticed that she took her phone with her to the bathroom. This made me feel really suspicious. The next day, I questioned her and she told me that she has been WhatsApp messaging for a few months.

This is a male friend from uni who she’d slept with a couple of times in 2011. She says they were good friends. However, she says that she wasn't messaging him on this evening in the bathroom. She showed me her phone the night after this incident and had deleted the messages. She says this was because she knew it would upset me.

I have expressed my concerns about this but it has continued. However, she has stopped deleting the messages. She has been attending counselling for the past six months and says that she just likes having friends and someone to talk to. Her and one of my male friends from school have also started messaging on a frequent basis. My partner is from a different part of the country so knows him through me. I am also unsure of how this makes me feel.

For some reason, this still makes me feel strange.

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