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“Little intimacy”

My wife and I have been married for 25 years, together for 27. We have two kids and basically a great life. I love her for all the world but we have little sex (according to me!) and little or no intimacy. I am a very physical person and she is not. I guess I have gotten used to going without much sex and ALWAYS being the one to initiate intimate contact. When I ask to talk to her about it she just says I'm being needy and all I think about is myself and my needs. Funny but I feel the opposite is true, that I am incredibly patient and understanding.

But sex is actually one of our only forms of intimacy. I'd go for a cuddle or just sitting holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. Sometimes I just think she doesn't put any value on me or us, just takes for granted that I'm there. We have sex infrequently but to her that's the extent of our intimacy. We have been together for many years and this problem has just been hanging there the entire time.

I would never expect her to give me 100% of what I want but I do expect more effort on her part. I mean compromise is the name of the game, how we've made it this far. But sometimes I feel she is so selfish and takes me so for granted that it makes me really sad and angry but mostly it makes me feel unloved and under-valued. All advice is welcome and thanks for listening.

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