“I want a relationship, but know it's a bad idea”
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I am a high-school senior who's about to do his final exams and start his year-long military service afterwards, where I'll rarely be allowed to visit home. As soon as I am done with my service, I am to study in another country for 4 years and will only be coming to my homeland once a year or so. (P.S. I'm in Europe) I've avoided starting any relationships previously, because I knew teenage relationships are fragile and almost never stand the test of time, especially when you have to serve in the military and study in another country. I've also sometimes feared that relationships might distract me from things that are more important. I've always put my future and career above all else.

I'm also a guy who isn't really into "fun" relationships that last a few of months or maybe years, as is often popular for young people these days. I want mine to be solid and long-lasting, as a proper relationship should be. I guess horoscopes have a degree of truth to them, since I'm a Capricorn and we are notorious for this lmao I'm a tall, athletic guy who's often successful on a national and sometimes international level. I can say that I'm above average in terms of looks, maybe even a bit higher than that (though it's subjective). I'll also say that I can be a bit of an introvert at times. I've had girls fall for me quite a few times, too. I'm not saying all this to brag, but to say that what I'm facing now is not because I fear rejection (because I'm generally confident), or that I was ridiculed for my looks during some sort of failed attempt at getting a date that resulted in an inferiority-complex. I also promise you I do not have a superiority complex - I know my flaws very well and I am willing to work on them.

This year I've noticed that I just feel a great, subconscious urge to start a relationship, and have realized that chatting to and flirting with girls releases some sort of Dopamine rush for me. It never goes beyond anything other than said flirting and chatting, since I'm still in control of my actions in general and I keep reminding myself to focus on what's really important, but I feel as if this urge is getting stronger by the day, and it's not a good feeling. Is what I'm experiencing normal? How can I resist this urge? Should I give in? Thanks in advance!

Tl;dr: I've never bothered with a relationship before, but now I feel a great urge to start a relationship despite knowing and telling myself that now is not the time to do so because of my mil. service and studies. Is this normal? How do I fight this urge? Should I give in? Thanks!

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