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“I like someone I can’t have”

I’ve been friends with this guy since our freshman year of high school. I think about him all the time and recently we’ve began seeing each other more because of our mutual friend group. I have the time of my life with him but I come home and toss myself into my bed of sadness because I’m left with such jumbled feelings. He looks at me in a sweet way, does everything to include me in the group activities (which his girlfriend is never involved in), finds ways to touch me or tease me like in chick flicks, and he calls me pretty.

In no way shape or form am I capable of doing anything to hurt him and his girlfriends relationship. I’m not that type of person. It’s just so confusing to me because I don’t understand what this feeling is. When I look at him I see something so beautifully formed and it’s just so strange. I’m not used to feeling this way at all and it’s sad. We already have plans together next weekend with our friends and I’m just such a jumbled mess. I don’t plan to tell him how I feel because our relationship was a little strained for some time and I do not want things to be weird again. And plus it wouldn’t matter anyway. I’m not writing this for advice or tips on how to break him and his girlfriend up. I just want to help myself get it out in a way that’s good for everyone.

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