“Valentine 365: I feel loved and cared for when…”

Is it cards, chocolates, cuddly toys and uncomfortable underwear day again???

Valentine’s day has become about stuff… and we believe there shouldn’t be only one day when couples do romance.

But, Valentine’s day is a good opportunity to start upping your game with a technique that will work ALL YEAR ROUND and the only ‘stuff’ you will need is a pen and paper.

Try this with your partner tonight

  1. Each get a piece of paper and a pen.
  2. Across the top, write: "I FEEL LOVED AND CARED FOR WHEN…"
  3. Then write the numbers 1 to 10 down the left-hand side.
  4. Fill in 10 things your partner can do that would make you feel loved, cared for and supported by them (examples below).
  5. Once you have each written your list of things that would give you that warm and fuzzy feeling, SWAP your lists.
  6. You now each have a cheat sheet of simple things that you can do to make your partner feel loved and cared if they are having a tough day or you have been arguing or busy for weeks.
  7. Note: In really difficult times, some people do the entire list at once (!!). If your lists get stale in the future, you can refresh them with new items.
Examples

  • Run me a bath unprompted.
  • Make me cheese on toast.
  • Clear out the car.
  • Bring home my favourite chocolate bar.
  • Empty the dishwasher.
  • Make me a cuppa.
  • Buy me a magazine, then take the kids out for an hour.
  • Stop looking at your phone from 8pm.
  • Let me watch my TV show in peace.
  • Ask me how I am.
  • Book an event for the family.
  • Take me for dinner.
  • Plan a day out.

What is stopping you? Write your lists and enjoy feeling loved, cared for and supported.

Kate Nicolle


Kate is a trainer for OnePlusOne, the organisation behind Click. This technique is from the practitioner programme, How To Argue Better.

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