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Got back with my ex

So.. I've met up with my ex of nearly five years who I never stopped loving, despite the pain that she caused me at the time. We've met up a few times over the last few months, staying over at each others homes, cooking and generally caring for each other. Going out for walks and just enjoying each other's company.

She told me that she still loves me and I believe her. The problem is that her previous relationships have been emotionally abusive - she makes no secret of that. This makes her afraid of commitment and she pushes me away which really upsets me. When we split up I was totally devastated, she said she wasn't ready for a relationship. When she pushes me away it feels like history is set to repeat itself.

But it does feel different this time around, so maybe I just need to live in the now and forget the past. Several months later she moves in this bloke that she was working with. Turns out he was emotionally abusive too. I am not in the slightest bit abusive. I love this woman in a way that I never experienced before. She is my first and last thought of each day. Even when we were not together I used to long to be back with her - I tried a relationship with someone else I met however my ex was never far from my mind.

I told my parents that we were seeing each other again and my mum's face lit up with joy and she said that this person was her favourite out of all my ex's.

Not many other people know as we have been keeping this on a down low... not because of any shame, but because it's still new and we have mutual friends.

Anyway, I'm just posting this to see what everyone's thoughts are. So feel free to hit me with them :)

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