The first step is usually to STOP arguing. This means staying calm, making sure you listen and being prepared to see things differently.
You've just seen a situation going badly.
In this situation, Mia was put in the middle of her parents’ conflict. Children can often feel like they’re being put into these different roles by their parents.
Here are the roles Mia was put into:
There are three important skills that can help make it easier for you to reach agreements for your child.
Staying calm is all about slowing down, keeping your emotions under control, and getting your thoughts in order. Take a deep breath. When you’re calm, you're in a better position to stop disagreements from escalating.
Often, when we should be listening, we are too busy thinking about how we are going to reply. It’s not easy to listen to someone you don’t agree with, but you’ll reach an agreement much faster if you make the effort to understand the other person’s perspective before you respond.
Stepping into your ex’s shoes might be the last thing you want to do. It's easy to assume the worst about someone you've separated from but looking at a situation from someone else's point of view can help you make sense of their behaviour.
Now watch the next clip to see how things can go differently when parents use these skills.