I met a Japanese guy online in a language exchange application two months ago. He is kind, brilliant, funny and understanding. Later on, we exchanged Line and still communicate everyday. I feel like I'm connected to him even though we haven't met in person. We shared problems together, things about life and some plans (like places to visit) when we meet someday. I like him, but I did not told him, because it would be awkward since it's online and I am afraid he would set apart.
One day, he shared about his friends online. He said he liked someone, and they haven't communicated for a while and told me he missed that girl. While listening to him, I can't describe how I felt. It's like my hands became so cold and all I know is that I was hurt. He did not told me words like those (if ever I'll be gone.) I told him that I am jealous about that girl (as a friend.) I am sad because I am thinking that he will leave me and be connected to that girl more and more and totally forget about me. He said, he will never leave me. I was relieved, but still, I am hurting that he liked somebody else.
He likes woman who is two to three years older than him. I am on the opposite way (three years younger.) I know he wouldn't notice me, because I am not qualified to his standards. I will not get jealous if he is planning to court that girl, but he told me he don't have the plan. I don't know with my brain. Why I feel this way? I fear he will get close to other friends and leave me in the end. I always think about him everyday. I am worried and I always pray for him. Now I think, I should not talk to him more often to feel less connection. Because if I'll confess regardless on what would be his reaction... I don't want to lose him.